by Robert
With flu season just around the corner and swine flu sweeping the nation, sickness is no laughing matter. In fact, the regular flu kills roughly 36,000 Americans per year--way more than Rambo's lifetime body count.
Compulsive hand washers, hand sanitizer aficionados, people who refuse to eat at salad bars--they've all had their fair share of humiliation, myself among them. I know how it feels to get a tongue-lashing from an anti-germophobe for excessive hand sanitizing--it hurts.
But there's justice: When swine flu hits its peak and claims half your neighborhood, the germophobic couple across the street won't be the ones heaving violently into the toilet--you will.
If you're not ready to become a full-time germophobe, don't worry. You can stay germ-free by following a few of these simple tips:
Keep away from sick people. Sick people are contagious; when healthy people fraternize with them, the healthy people turn into sick people and the virus multiplies.
If you can't wash your hands, use hand sanitizer. It's cheap and it works (some types smell pretty, too). I prefer the kind with fancy moisturizers.
Avoid children. They carry more germs than adults and, without proper hand washing or hand sanitizing, can infect you with billions of nasty germs in a heartbeat. This tip is courtesy of Germophobic.net (a legit website, believe it or not).
Here's a post-restroom etiquette reminder: and keep your miserable germs to yourself. After all, you probably got germs from a sicko who didn't have the common courtesy to stay home, so don't perpetuate the cycle.
Remember this: There's a little bit of germophobe in all of us. At the grocery store, we all steer clear of the cashier with a cold, right? And who among us hasn't thought twice before finishing off the lukewarm potato salad at the outdoor barbeque?
Before you pass judgment,...
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